You see these quote posts everywhere. It’s almost as if there is a new definition of the word “hater” every time you scroll through your news feed! And people call others out as haters for almost everything. Don’t agree with a few of your posts or don’t hit the like button, “he’s a hater”; Got someone who doesn’t act the way you think they should around you, “oh she’s a hater”; a couple people who you invited to your event didn’t come, “they’re all haters”. I think this word has become highly overused. Just because someone doesn’t fawn over you the way the others in your circle may, doesn’t make them a hater. Or just because someone doesn’t support your endeavors in the manner in which you think they should every time you have yet another business venture, that doesn’t make them a hater either. I sometimes think calling out someone as a hater makes us feel good about ourselves, overly validating our self-esteem, making things more about us than we should. Self-esteem is important, but not so important to where we’re spending more energy pointing out haters than focusing on whatever it is before us that we’re striving for.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are original, bona-fide haters out there. They are those people who watch you in wait for your slip, fall or mess up so they can put you on blast, or those people in your circle masquerading as your friends who never have an encouraging word for you when you need it or who always have something negative to say about some activity or effort you’re engaged in and are never happy for you when you experience good fortune. In these cases I agree with the quote “Haters are just confused admirers.” These are people who are obviously watching you constantly, keeping tabs on everything you’re doing. It’s because you engage them, they like what you’re doing, but they don’t want to admit it, especially to you, and they possibly don’t have your courage, your faith, fierceness or fabulosity, and they really secretly admire you greatly. Sometimes you have to let people like this go, praying for and loving them from a far. You may find that you only have a few people in your corner, crew or squad, and that’s ok too. I find that I am best with just a few truly close friends and the rest of my “friends” I simply manage; fully aware of who’s real or fake, for or against me, considerate and compassionate or nonchalant and an after-thought to them. And I don’t mind at all!!! A friend (a real one) told me once “Ingrid when you’re this fabulous sometimes you just have to go it alone.” Thanks girl :)xo
