“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” Psalm 46:1
Disclaimer: I’m still very much “in my feelings” about the tragic news of this past Sunday, so if this post seems a little all over the place (even after three edits and revisions, yikes!) please forgive me.
If you’ve been following the blog for a while, you know how difficult it is for me to publish posts on home decor, and beauty and style, when there are major uprisings going on in the nation and the news. There is so much going on nationally with the presidential impeachment trial, foreign relations teetering on the commencement of yet another war, and then there was the sudden and tragic accident claiming the life of one of our most celebrated athletic heroes, Kobe Bryant, on Sunday, along with his 13-year daughter Gianna, and seven other precious souls. I can’t simply follow my blogging calendar. In this moment, I want and feel compelled to “talk about” processing the heaviness of it all; the grief and sadness. I had the same feeling when a plane crash claimed the life of John F. Kennedy, Jr, his wife Carolyn Bessette and her sister Lauren Bessette back in July of 1999. You can read more about that HERE.
It seems strange to feel so much grief for someone you’ve never met; a celebrity at that. When the JFK, Jr. plane crash happened, it felt that way, and I asked myself “why do I feel grief for these people?” I reconciled it this way: When all aspects of someone’s life is displayed publicly, for decades, you come to feel like you “know” them. Especially when they or they’re lifestyle, or they’re talents are admired. With JFK, Jr, though we’d never met of course, it felt like we sort of grew up together; nearly the same age, reaching all our milestones at the same time. With Kobe Bryant, I remember him bursting onto the scene as a superstar kid-ball player, and he’s been in the spotlight ever since; his evolution from teenage NBA player, to iconic basketball legend, mentor, businessman, husband and father. You can read more on his life and rise to greatness HERE. Because I found commonality with them, through their publicly lived life, over time, I felt a sense of “knowing.” And so it was the case with Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Luther Vandross, and most certainly Prince. You can read my tribute to him HERE.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I felt that strange grief again this past Sunday, for the loss of Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna. I especially feel for Kobe’s wife, Vanessa Bryant. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to be there for your children, who’ve just lost their Dad and sister, while experiencing the worst emotional pain one could ever fathom; the loss of a husband, the man you’ve lived with and loved half your life, and one of your children, AND be forced to deal with it all so publicly. Having lost someone close to me and assisted with the responsibilities of settling affairs, I know first-hand some of the decisions that will have to be made and the drama that seems to always attach itself to the loss of a loved one. There’s the funeral services. Will they be private, public or both; the finalizing of financials, deciding the future of his/their business ventures, living and lifestyle changes to accommodate a new family dynamic, will and trust issues, and the list goes on for some times months, even years, after the death. And then, as expected with celebrity status, there’s the media, which is a whole other animal. I hope and pray they have enough respect for him, to allow her, to grieve privately and respectfully. Though no less of a loss, and no less painful, the families of the other victims won’t have to grief publicly, or fight continuously to hold the media at bay. Here are the other precious lives lost in the accident.
The Altobelli mother, father and sister, also a 13 year-old basketball player, leave behind two now orphaned teenagers. The husband of the assistant coach, Christina Mauser, is grappling with the reality of raising his three children, 11, 9. and 3 on his own. Mother and daughter, Sarah and Payton Chester, who also was a 13 year-old basketball player, leaves behind a Grandmother and son/brother. And Ara Zobayan, the pilot, leaves behind a long-time girlfriend and her two children whom he was like a father to. Once the news broke that there were other people on board, some were vocal about making a big fuss over Kobe and not the others. The world knew Kobe the super athlete, and of late, his daughter, the up and coming basketball star, but we didn’t know the other people whose lives were cut short that fateful day. While I, and I’m sure, most people feel great empathy for all involved, it’s also understandable, that the impact of the sudden loss of someone we “knew” would be greater.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
Once again, the Grammy’s were airing in the midst of grief. I’m sure we all remember Whitney Houston’s death the day before the Grammys aired in 2011, and how solemn the festivities were that year. This year it was a similar scenario. I think Alicia Keyes, the evening’s host, did an amazing job of bridging the gap between emotions of grief and celebration, given the heartbreaking news was released just as the red carpet activities were beginning. This was music’s big night, but how do you celebrate mere hours after such a horrific tragedy?
Her opening statement, followed by Boyz II Men joining her on stage for a single, acapella verse of “It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday”, was so appropriate, and enough acknowledgement of the weight of the moment, to then be able to move forward with the show. You can view it HERE. From there she masterfully navigated gradually into a more celebratory vibe over the first 45 minutes of the show, making everyone feel comfortable with being sad, yet excited about the night. Although I hardly watch the Grammys (I don’t know any of the artists anymore, haha!!!), I must say, she did a phenomenal job, with little preparation, on a very difficult night.
Grief causes insurmountable pain, but in time, the memories of the love felt and shared become just as great. I’ve read so many social media posts that say “hold your loved ones close” or “hold your loved ones tighter”, and “tell your loved ones you love them.” When the unexplainable occurs so suddenly, it forces us to direct our attention on what we have right now, knowing how quickly it can be plucked away. Unfortunately that’s life. But we will always have memories we can recall, eyes closed, at any moment. For those of us mourning someone of celebrity status we never met, we have the internet to provide endless hours of memories.
Hopefully, a slither of peace will be realized, knowing every one of these victims have left behind someone who carries their love with them. That love will never die.
