I am perfectly fine NOT dating right now, and remaining out of a serious relationship, and I’ll tell you why….
I get asked a lot these days, when was my last date? Or when was my last serious relationship? And to both of those questions I have to answer: a very long time ago, lol! As a diehard, hopeful romantic, I believe in love and sharing a covenant commitment with someone of equal yoke and like values and goals. And at my age I’d like a good partner in life as opposed to someone who gives me butterflies. Butterflies are beautiful but they flutter in and flutter out and here and there. I’ve noticed in these current times, people meet, fall in love, get married sometimes, and then they fall out of love like they “fell” in love, break-up, get divorced, etc. People fall in love not knowing nearly enough about the person they’re falling for. And when someone is falling they have no control. It truly is a free-fall. Then when they land, it’s a jolt; a crash. If someone is falling in love with me, at some point they’re going to come to a jolt and they’ll have no control over how to regain that heady, floating, free-fall feeling. So everything is up for grabs; stay, get on each other’s last nerve, fight, go, just whatever.
There are stages to love. I would rather someone take the time to really get to know me, and the two of us figure out if we can and want to live and be together as partners, then make a decision to walk into love, fully aware and in control of what we’re doing, experiencing love in the right order: Agape love which is brotherly/sisterly, unconditional, Godly love; moving into Philia, the friendship, affectionate kind of love, and finally, when appropriate, the romantic, passionate, intimate Eros love. We all may have been taught improperly to date to marry when we should really be marrying to date; putting most of the Eros romance post-I do. I don’t want to wait all this time for my covenant partner, and it’s good for two or three years, and then suddenly he’s gone, having overdosed on pre-mature Eros and totally exhausting his supply of butterflies! I know that a woman’s #1 thing in a relationship revolves around security, and I heard a pastor say once in pre-marital counseling that the man’s sole responsibility is ensuring through his character of commitment that his wife knows she will never be single again; that he will always be there and be there for her. I’ll take one that believes this is true, please and thank you!
