Someone once told me that I suffer from Perfectionism Disorder and I just about ripped their head off verbally in my own defense. Defense of my remarkable high standards, astute attention to detail and personal testament to doing everything in excellence…. ok so I am a recovering perfectionist. So what does it mean?Perfectionism: a personality trait characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations. It is best conceptualized as a multidimensional characteristic, as psychologists agree that there are many positive and negative aspects.I have personal standards for just about every aspect of my life. Anything from keeping my house and car spotless at all times… I mean, never leaving anything in the car EVER, and fluffing sofa pillows and straightening coffee table books every night before I go to bed, to always having manicured and pedicured hands and feet. I just have a thing about chipped nail polish. Either put some more on or take it all off… ok see? And even writing this blog, I’m terribly concerned with overlooking a misspelled word or grammatical error. While some would consider my drive to do and be and present my absolute best at all times an exceptional and commendable character quality, most just say “Yeah, she has issues”. I’ve gotten a whole lot better over the years. I’m not so finicky about keeping my house and car spotless anymore. And I have even worn chipped nail polish… (clutch chest and gasp, “No!”) Now I still have a little ways to go when it comes to not presenting a project or producing an event bearing my name before I am convinced that it’s done as excellently as possible within my reach of resources. I know now that sometimes it’s better just to release “it” and get it out there, than to keep mulling over it as it keeps me in a state of “it’s not ready yet.” Now being picky to a fault over some fluffed pillows and some nail polish is very different from being picky to a fault trying to present a perfected “you.” Everyone I know is on some form of social media and its full of images of beautiful, perfect looking people, living beautiful, exciting, perfect looking lives, doing and being, well… perfect. As we “follow” those images of perfection it’s easy to begin to compare and subtly yearn for whatever “it” is that we are feeling as we take those images in. We begin to copy what we think we’re seeing. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good selfie as much as the next person, but I have to be careful not to judge myself against what I see on social media and obsess over it. There are YouTube tutorials on taking the perfect selfie, and even how to make your Instagram page more attractive. It’s easy to see someone’s IG page and the pictures are all the same hue and they’re outlined the same way and there’s a strategic, repeated placement of certain types of posts so that visually the feed is more appealing. Now we’re obsessing over how to perfect the presentation of the perfect images. Wow… just wow! I’ll admit, I watched a couple of those videos and tried it out and soooo, yeah… I’m back to posting however I see fit. I don’t have the time to plan out how my life will appear on IG because I’m too busy living my life!
There are people who really do suffer from perfectionism, comparing themselves to other people or a previous version of themselves and feeling depressed, ashamed or inferior, always striving for more of what they think they lack, based on what they see everywhere on television and social media. Here’s the thing about the Instagram models and television personalities… those are just images. Definition: a representation of the external form of a person or thing in art. It’s not real. Perfectionism leads you to believe that you, just the way you are, right now, is not enough. And you are enough. The word of God tells us that we are created in His image. Well God is perfect! Why insult Him by denying that? I faithfully suggest, that if we stay centered to the God-source that is within us, and harness those thoughts of comparison, and feelings of lack in our self-esteem and self-worth, and remember who we were created as, we will come to realize that we are already perfect in Him.
